Tag Archives: rejection

A woman sits by herself at a bar…

… watching an NHL playoff game on the screen, occasionally gulping down some Guinness. The guy next to her says a statement or two to her, trying to spark conversation with her, only to discover that she is not replying back. “Ah, not talking to me, eh? Alright” he replies, refocusing his attention elsewhere.

A girl sits by herself at a bar watching an NFL playoff game on the screen, occasionally gulping down some Guinness. The guy next to her asks her a question, which she responds to, sparking a conversation. While he talks, she looks at the TV screen, responding to him when necessary. Conversation, to her chagrin, lasts for longer than she’d hoped. He inevitably asks her out, to which she declines. The guy makes comments essentially accusing her of leading him on. She insists that she really is here to just watch the game. He doesn’t believe her, and makes a couple more attempts to ask her out, then finally leaves.

I love sports. And I love sports bars. I love going to sports bars to watch sports. I happen to be a woman. I happen to be a woman who likes to go to sports bars to watch sports. I used to ignore men who tried to talk to me. Did I like doing it? No, but I figured it was the best way to get across to someone that I’m not here to “pick up” a guy.

But then I thought, I do like talking about sports and it’d be nice to carry on conversations like the other guys at the bar do, so I started talking with men only to realize that this meant – to them – that I was attracted to them. No. No I’m not. I’m just talking to you. I didn’t know talking about the questionable call the referee just made was equivalent to me asking you for your number.

Is a woman, sitting by herself at a bar, an automatic green light? Am I totally unaware of and repeatedly breaking some universal code of conduct? And if I am (’cause I honestly don’t care), which is worse? Out right ignoring the guy? Or talking to him then rejecting him?